Don’t get me wrong. I love brows that are & eyeliner so winged that Southwest is jealous. I love a highlight that I can nearly see my reflection in. But for the past month I haven’t worn a stitch of makeup.
At first it wasn’t even on purpose. My skin just needed a break. Between sunscreen build up and sweaty summer skin I was just getting an icky break out. So I …let me skin breathe for a week or so & wondered
could I go an entire month without makeup & how would it make me feel?
Do I look like shrek without makeup? Absolutely not; most days.
Do I look like a Victoria’s Secret model? lol no.
But, I seem base so much of my self esteem on if I look pretty & in my gut I know that’s so silly. There is nothing wrong with wanting to look nice. I love clothes and makeup and think it’s all so fun but what you look like has absolutely nothing to do with your worth as a person. I don’t know how I lost sight of that.
Honestly, most days were a breeze. I’m pretty low maintenance as is. But there were times I was so self conscience & that sucked. But why? Why can’t I feel just as cool & funny & confident without my eyelashes being coated in black goop?
Here’s what I learned during my month without makeup.
Going to work without makeup- No biggy…Other than when I saw the cute new guy that works on my floor and I felt like I looked like a Walmart sack. 🙄
Running errands- Whatever. Ronald at Walgreens told me I was the prettiest girl he’d seen all day.
Gym- Don’t care. I smell worse than I look.
Pool- Nah I’m trying to collect freckles anyway. Luckily, they’re extra trendy right now.
At home- My cat loves me either way.
So, for the most part I didn’t feel much different until it came to being social…
I did NOT want to go out. I avoided it as much as possible. Potentially interacting with the same strangers I might run into at the grocery store but in a bar- no thank you- hard pass. Logical.
I don’t wear that much makeup on any given day but I felt so exposed & awkward. Kind of like when you accidentally tuck the back of your dress into your underwear. Just so uncomfortable. Why am I embarrassed of my face? It is just like the rest of the skin on my body & I don’t make a fuss over what it looks like 24/7.
But here’s the thing- No one cared. No one seemed less interested in me. People even complimented me on something other than my perfectly winged eyeliner. I was the only one that felt weird. I’m the one that put my worth into how I looked. Other people based their opinion of me on how I treated them. On how their experience or interaction was with me as a person.
So many times my anxiety or insecurity was put to rest because I realized I was the only one concerned with how I looked.
This is long & rambley & so cheesy but it felt cool to genuinely feel like it’s what’s on the inside that counts.
Also, my skin feels a million times better & so do I. I won’t lie though; I am looking forward to breaking out my contour kit & beating my face to the gods again. Makeup is fun. But now I won’t put as much stock on my looks as much as my heart. & that makes me feel good. People still liked me even if I felt like I looked like a hairless dog.
Well, that’s all. Idk, just wanted to share my little experiment. You’re all so cool & I love you a lot. As silly as it sounds, I hope you all can find a way to feel confident even if you feel insecure at the same time.